Tony Parker Should Keep His Day Job

// July 12th, 2007

Perez found out today what we already knew: Tony Parker is a horrible rapper…. if you can even call him that.

You can call me a hater.
It’s all good b/c my rhyme skills are greater.
My verse is diverse & perverse like a night nurse callin’.
I know I’m a rhymer, but Tony should just stick to ballin’.

Here’s the title track to his new album Balance-toi, which mes amis francaises tell me means to sort of dance rocking back & forth.



Don’t get me wrong. Tony is a champion & an excellent basketball player - one of the best point guards in the NBA. As a rapper, though, he just completely sucks. He should stick to passing to Tim Duncan, scoring layups & banging Eva Longoria.

It doesn’t even matter if I can’t understand most of the lyrics. I actually dig some French rap, especially IAM from Marseille, but Tony just ain’t cuttin’ it.

Here’s real French rap: IAM’s Noble Art ft Method Man & Redman:



Tony’s not the first athlete to grab the mic & he won’t be the last. I got to thinking about the others that came before him. Some were equally horrible, some actually not so bad. Among them are:

- Shaq aka Shaq-Fu (wasn’t so bad w/ the Fu-Schnickens)
- Kobe
- AI aka Jewelz (I love him getting all gangsta on 40 Bars)
- Roy Jones Jr.
- CWebb
- Ron Artest
- Gary Payton
- Lebron (coming soon!)

Street Census has a good list featuring songs here: Top 10 Worst/Best Athlete-Rappers”

ESPN Page 3: Athletes Who Can Make Your Ears Bleed

100% Injury Rate: Don’t Quit Your Day Job

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